


just breathe through me

by iamjustakiddo



Series: taegiweek2019 [2]
Category: Den lille Havfrue | The Little Mermaid - Hans Christian Andersen, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - The Little Mermaid Fusion, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Heartbreak, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mermaid Yoongi, Mild Sexual Content, Prince Taehyung, TG19DAY2, taegiweek2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-04-07 21:49:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19093798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamjustakiddo/pseuds/iamjustakiddo
Summary: The unknown prince - Yoongi liked to watch him the most.Admiring his beauty through the bull’s eye, Yoongi’s curiosity for the world on dry land only grew until his chest felt heavy and hollow with it.-Yoongi lives a life deep down in the ocean.Taehyung is a prince of the human world.And Yoongi walks on knives so he could stay with him and love him for ever.





	just breathe through me

**Author's Note:**

> From everything I have written this past year, I'm most proud of this one.  
> First I want to thank [VishCount](https://archiveofourown.org/users/VishCount/pseuds/VishCount) for encouraging me and staying with me through the whole process. You've been a great encouragment and always kept me going (and your song recs kept me alive). Thank you dear <3
> 
> ALSO I need to mention: This is NOT a Disney AU!  
> I have seen Disney's The Little Mermaid maybe once when I was little, and I remember nothing of it. This is entirely based on The Little Mermaid by Hans Christian Andersen, the original fairytale. It's my absolute favourite and I wanted to keep a similar vibe. I follow the same concept, with changes and twists so it fits taegi and how I see them in this situations. So yeah I know I'm cheating a bit with the 'Entertainment' prompt for taegiweek Day 2, but it counts okay? 
> 
> I hope you enjoy and don't hate me too much.

 

 

I.

The realms of the sea weren’t entirely unknown to humans.

Muddy waters on a sandy beach, washing seashells ashore and drawing lines of sea-weed. The rocky cliffsides that foamed white, echoing desperate cries of sea-gulls which the salty breeze carried far. Colourful coral banks in the sunny shallows, sparkling like hidden treasures under the clear surface. Dark blue waves that rocked tiny fishing boats back and forth, the fisher men watching the nets disappear in darkness, reaching for what they could never attain alive.

The high seas however, spread deep and wide. Unknown depths, a vibrant blue that stretched endlessly. Big ships might sail across it but standing on deck with eyes cast down into the waves, one could only guess the vastness of it all.

Unknowing of the secret kingdom hidden from human eyes.

In the middle of the ocean, where the water was deep enough to cover the bottom with gloomy blue shadows, yet the sun still reached its light faintly, a castle of rock and corals towered in midst the rippling water. Caves and tunnels leading into wide halls and small chambers, hidden behind curtains of sea-weed and bronze swaying canopies. Fish shooting in an out like silver arrows, manta rays guarding the high jagged roofs.

It was the home of the merpeople, dwelling deep under the sea and ruling over their own folk.

The merqueen reigned the mount, watched the coming and going of every creature with her silver eyes, always watchful. The water churned with shining fishtails flipping, tangling hair curling between seagrass, webbed fingers that lured the sharks. The queen’s numerous sons and daughters slipping in and out of the great halls, bubbly laughter echoing. Them she watched the closest.

Six of her sons were her most treasured, guarded during all times and tides. They were the pearls in her arms, the most shining creatures under the sea in her eyes.

They were bound together by the queen’s love, by the affection between them. With great love came great worry, and in effect rules that bound them to the bottom of the sea. Each one of them had their glamorous gardens with anemones and swarms of fish, their own mother-of-pearl covered caves and glistening wale-bone combs.

But the wonders of the world above, the world of the sky and humans, was secluded from them. Only once a month, when the full moon shone high above the sea and drenched the waves in silver shadows, the brothers could rise up and breathe the cool night air.

Yoongi was the second eldest son. He was neither her favourite nor her least favourite, but he belonged to his five brothers like dolphins in a pod.

There were his four younger brothers, bursting with energy. Hoseok, whose bright laughter echoed all over the rocks every day, who rose up the water always a bit earlier than everyone else to watch the great golden bursts of a sunset. Namjoon who drifted along with the tides dreamily, he who had fallen in love with the sparkling endless night-sky, sighing to the moon with longing. Jimin, sweet and gentle as he was, sang above the waves and played with the sea-birds, brushing against their white feathers gently. And Jungkook, who was a bit more daring than his older brothers, ventured to the shores and havens, watching the great ships creaking above him, their great sails fluttering in silent night-air.

There was also Seokjin, the oldest of them all, meant to rule beside his mother when turned of age. He liked to ride the waves on high sea when great storms tolled above him, when lightings and thunder turned the sky and ocean upside down. And Seokjin just spread his arms, letting himself carry along.

And there was Yoongi. Quiet and reserved Yoongi, who didn’t stand out. His existence was acknowledged, yet he’d never met his mother’s eyes. While Seokjin’s shadow was a comfortable place to swim in, he was only ever free of it when a ship cut through the sea deep in the night.

All of his brothers fled at the sound of human voices cutting over the dark waves, yet Yoongi remained. He remained and watched the dark figures wander around. Boots thumping dully against the wood, glasses clinking and tipsy laughter. Sometimes he even dared to peek through the bull’s eye, fascinated by the world free of water. Water that was only caught in glasses and vials, dry fabric and wood and humans walking on two feet clumsily. Yoongi observed from the cold wetness of the sea and wondered. What it would feel like to live off air, to walk on two legs bound by gravity, so helpless and loud.

There was one particular ship that passed overhead their castle on numerous times, with magnificent billowing sails and a gold-encrusted dragon’s head in the front. Yoongi’s heart always leaped when the ship sailed under a full moon, so he could observe its stunning beauty. A beauty which was not only on the outside but on the inside as well.  
The lord of the ship was a young man, brilliant and youthful. Always clad in long flowing robes and glittering jewellery adorning his long dark hair. A prince, most likely every other human bowing in his presence as he sauntered the deck or dwelled in his richly decorated rooms.

The unknown prince, him Yoongi liked to watch the most. Admiring his beauty through the bull’s eye, Yoongi’s curiosity of the world on dry land only grew until his chest felt heavy and hollow with it.

His brothers teased him, pulled his hair with laughter but he knew they only meant to humour him. Seokjin expressed his worry for coming so close to the ships, fretting over the chance of getting caught by human eyes. But Yoongi couldn’t resist. With every full moon, he searched the black surface, looking for golden blinking lights, drawing him in like the moths to flames he’d heard about in stories.

Yoongi knew his brothers thought him odd, knew they wished he’d play with them more, but when the lights shone, his heart ached. A deep longing clogging his throat.

 

“Let’s ride the waves together, Yoongi!”

The night was especially stormy, heavy clouds hiding the full moon. But Seokjin’s eyes twinkled with mirth and Yoongi had no time to protest before his brother grabbed his wrist, drifting upwards with a strong stroke of his tail.

The sea was dark and swirling around them, luminous jellyfish dancing past them like silver lanterns. Yoongi struggled to keep up with his brother as the pull got stronger the higher they rose. Cold freezing air hit his face when they broke through the surface. Thunder rumbled above them, and the strike of a lightning revealed Seokjin’s joyful smile, wild hair plastered to his face as he laid back into the waves. His shining silver tail was stronger than Yoongi’s, resisting the persistent ripping water with easy movement.

“Seokjin – wait for me!” Yoongi called out, but his fingers already slipped from his brother’s, a wave parting them.

Salty wind whipped into his face and he lost sight of Seokjin’s figure in the swirling water, towering high above him and mirroring the dark sky. Another jagged lightning and Yoongi found himself alone on high sea, flailing his tail helplessly.

“Seokjin!” he called again, but his voice got swallowed by the roaring waves.

Diving under, he tried to move into calmer waters, but the waves sucked him up again. Defeated he lay on his back, staring up into the tumultuous darkness. His skin felt bruised from the freezing air, not used to the sharp winds that reigned above water.

A sudden shadow drifted over him and Yoongi startled, quickly hiding beneath the waves. In the turmoil he managed to make out a wooden ship, thrown back and forth by the storm. Its sails ragged and torn; one mast broken in half. It was a heartbreaking sight of splintered wood that bore itself into Yoongi’s heart. Planks and barrels passed him, almost crushing him with the force the waves threw them around.

Suddenly his eyes caught what he had been searching for – a human figure, helpless like a puppet torn around mercilessly. With quick strokes Yoongi surged toward them, watching their head submerge under water.

Finally, his fingers caught cloth and skin, and he dragged them upwards again. He knew humans needed to breathe. That the water was nothing but a wet grave for them.

Struggling to put distance between them and the breaking ship, Yoongi pulled the human along frantically. New determination gripped him, and he paddled along instinctively. Time seemed to slow down when he held the body close helplessly, keeping their head above water while the winds tore at them, carrying them away.

Hours passed until the storm finally calmed down, the night coming to an end slowly. The ship was out of sight and Yoongi found himself surrounded by nothing but the vast surface of the sea. Dawn broke gently with grey yellow light on the horizon, chasing away the last dark clouds. The water calmed, billowing like human breathing.

Finally, Yoongi could make out the human in his arms. Long dark hair surrounding a handsome face, eyes closed, and lips parted. It was a young man, youth showing on his smooth features.

His prince.

Yoongi gripped him closer to not let the sea rip him away. Carefully, he lowered his ear to the man’s chest, waiting for a sign of life. A faint heartbeat fluttered and Yoongi sighed with relief.

 

When Yoongi finally reached a pale shore, morning had almost broken completely.

Pulling himself along the scratchy sand, he carefully placed the prince on dry ground. The first clear rays of sunshine hit the human’s face, illuminating his beauty and Yoongi’s heart jumped with wonder, in a way it had never done before. He cursed his useless tail that splashed in the shallow water helplessly, keeping him from carrying the boy up to the town on the cliff side. Instead he kept his head cradled against his chest, brushing his jaw gingerly, clinging to the faint sound of his breathing. A sound he had never heard before, so different from the puffing and blowing wales. Gentle and quiet.

The human’s skin was so golden in the sunshine compared to his own pale one, growing warm under his touch and Yoongi’s heart ached with the unknown sensation of it. His cool fingers tingled.

Sudden laughter and voices broke the silence and Yoongi flinched back. Moving his tail quickly he scrambled into deeper waters, darting behind a small group of rocks. Peeking, he watched a group of girls skipping over the sand with frilly dresses, parasols shining like colourful sea-shells. Yoongi held his breath, and when their voices grew excited and loud at the sight of the motionless man, his chest filled with relief. He watched them gather around him, one of them running off to get help.

Silently, Yoongi dove back into the blue depths, taking one last look at the beautiful boy, shining golden under the sun.

 

 

After the storm, the brothers watched Yoongi get more reserved. Silently he drifted through the rocks, avoiding their eyes and lost in thought.

He spent hours upon hours in his small garden. Billowing sea-plants, hiding swarms of tiny fish. A sea-turtle liked to visit him, allowing him to stroke her chin gently. Between the anemones and jagged rocks, Yoongi kept his own small treasures. Rusty forks and spoons, a small empty casket, a few coins, a hardening leather boot – everything the sea had swallowed from seamen, washed down into the depths. Yoongi collected it, fascinated with the unknown shapes and textures. It was the closest he could get to the human world, his fingers trailing over the objects as if he could sense the humans whom it had belonged before.

Before the storm, that had been all – just lifeless objects, echoes of the realms above water. But now Yoongi knew what a human’s breath felt like. Had felt their warmth against his skin, had gripped the clothes that hugged their bodies to keep themselves warm. Had heard the heartbeat, a lot faster than his own.

In the blue distance, a lone whale passed by, just a dark inky shadow. Its longing cry ripped into Yoongi’s chest, resonating with everything he felt. With his tail curled around one of the jagged rocks, he watched the whale’s silhouette slowly disappear again, the song still echoing. Yoongi knew from stories that humans sometimes cried, wet tears rolling down their faces. He didn’t know what it felt like or what caused it, but sometimes he wondered if he too was crying without knowing it. In his mind it must feel what the whale sounded like.

 

Yoongi returned to the shore multiple times. Without telling anyone, he slipped away from the mount, following his instincts to find the place again.

He knew his mother would punish him if she knew. Keeping a secret from his brothers pained him but he couldn’t bring himself confiding in them. A careless slip of words and the merqueen would cage him in the great halls for the next eternity, somewhere she had him in sight. Namjoon’s gaze followed him suspiciously on numerous times, as if he sensed the tension rippling off Yoongi, but he still managed to escape all their eyes.

Behind his gathering rocks near the shore he floated and waited, in bright daylight. Watched humans pass by, small fishing boats leaving the harbour. Glimpsed the colourful flags on high roofs up in the town. Heard the horns, the bells, the human voices carried by the breeze.

And sometimes he watched the prince.

On some days he’d sit by the water, staring out into the distance and Yoongi could make out his dark eyes. His long hair curling over his shoulders, the folds of his robes turning dark from water licking at its hems. Yoongi remembered his warm sun-kissed skin and his heart ached when he watched him sitting so forlorn.

On other days however, the prince would stride back and forth, sleeves billowing behind him as he left deep footprints in the soft sand. A desperation in his movement as he stopped to throw glances at the sea, at the cliffs above him, the harbour in a safe distance.

But he never glanced towards the rocks. Yoongi didn’t know whether he was relieved or disappointed. With every day he visited the shore, something in him urged to come out from hiding. To call out for the prince.

 

 

 

A month passed like that and the full moon rose again.

Yoongi’s brothers got ready for another ascension, frolicking around with bubbly anticipation. The queen was watching them with fond eyes, flitting back and forth, doting on them as she usually did. Yoongi stayed back, avoiding her touch and his brothers’ calls. Instead he watched, his heart thrumming painfully. Tonight, the sea was eerily quiet, so calm he could see the faint glimmer of silver light through the surges all the way from the bottom of the sea. The moon a blurry tiny speck over the water and beyond.

When Jimin laced his hand with his and they all set off at last, arm in arm, Yoongi let himself get pulled along. The water rushed past him, his thoughts scattering with it. They broke the surface, his brothers taking high leaps, brilliant tails sparkling in the moon light. Their laughter mingled with the waves as they turned the water into a swirling pool around them.

Quietly, Yoongi slipped their attention.

He let himself drift away from them, half submerged in water and when he finally came to a safe distance, he dove quickly. Shooting straight down, he delved deeper with forceful flips of his tail, past the dark mount in the distance, past the sleeping whales and lone scattered jellyfish, past the lurking sharks. The water turned darker, a thick blue hugging him and hiding the silver light. It got colder too, burning against his skin.

At last he had to rely on his senses, every ripple of water warning him of rocks and deep-sea creatures. There was no light to guide him, but Yoongi felt his way along the dreary bottom. He’d never dived so deep before, but the fear that crept into his chest just a faint sensation.

Finally, he could sense a cave below a group of gathering rocks in front of him, bare of any plants. The swishing of tails and movement indicated the presence of multiple creatures, gathering inside the cave together.

“Hello?” he called quietly.

More movement erupted in front of him and he flinched back instinctively.

“Is someone there?”

Suddenly a gloomy light appeared in front of him, revealing sharp teeth and hollow eyes. The light jumped as the face loomed slowly to the side, drenching its cold light over the rocks. Yoongi recognised the slow movements of an angler fish and drifted closer with new determination.

“Are you looking for me, little one?” The voice sounded hollow and scratchy, as if it were unused to talking, coming from the cave.

“If you are the deep-sea witch, then yes, I am.” Yoongi answered firmly, supressing a shudder.

Suddenly a strong hand shot forward from the darkness, gripping the angler fish to bring the light closer to him. Yoongi knew he was being observed, so he stared into the light, keeping his expression calm.

“The witch I am indeed.” The voice confirmed, a hint of amusement hiding in its tone. “You must be truly desperate to seek me out here, little one.”

“I’m here because – “

“Yes, I know why you are here. The ocean has its eyes and ears, little one. Nothing escapes me.” The voice laughed and the angler fish shook with a tremor, the hand around it tightening. “You’ve fallen in love with the human. You seek out the closeness of the land, you disobey your mother’s wishes and dream of a slow, pitiful life on dirty soil.”

Yoongi kept quiet, finally casting his eyes down. The cold light hurt his head and with every word the witch spoke, a new shiver ran down his spine.

“That is right.”

“And now you’ve come to seek my help, to give you what you so much desire.”

“Yes. I want to become human. I want to walk the earth and breathe air like they do. I want to escape the water and become like them.”

His words were met with more cold laughter.

“How foolish you are. The likes of you, the likes of us, can never become humans. You will never live like they do.”

A desperation coiled inside him that Yoongi forgot all his caution.

“Please, is there any way I can get closer? Any way at all? Surely there must be something.”

“You are willing to leave your life behind? Your mother? Your brothers? Are you willing to break their hearts?”

Yoongi hesitated again, his throat tightening. The whale was crying, far away somewhere in the ocean, abandoned and lonely.

“I – If I stay here, their hearts will be broken because I will wither away under their eyes. All I am doing is polluting the water around me.”

When Yoongi looked up, he met the bulging eyes of the angler fish and watched the hand recoil from it, disappearing in darkness again. He sensed the movement of something huge behind the cone of light.

“Very well, little one. I can make your tail disappear. I can give two pretty legs and you will be the most beautiful creature on land. But every step will pierce your feet like knives, every time you step on earth it will cut you from the inside. I can give you this chance of dwelling a human life with a mortal’s love. There is no going back after I’ve done it. If you fail in finding the mortal’s love, you will dissolve. Dissolve into sea-foam with all meaning lost because neither sea nor land accepts your existence.”

Yoongi shivered again, the words etching deep, but he just nodded.

“Yes. I want this. Better a short life knowing what it feels like than an eternity in this cold and lightless cavern.”

A rough hum reached him, and the hand appeared again, dark veins gracing its skin. Between long webbed fingers sat a dark vial with oily substance filling it to the brim.

“Before you take it, you must know the price.”

“Price?”

“Surely you can’t expect to receive my service and not pay the price. I wonder what you can give me that I don’t have …” the voice trailed off again and for the first time Yoongi visibly trembled.

“Whatever you wish is yours.” He whispered, staring at the dark spectre hidden from his view.

“Ah, little one.” The voice hummed, obviously pleased. “You will give me your voice in return. Your body and eyes will be the only thing that should get you the love you so seek. I’m taking your voice and keeping it with me, down here where it will stay for ever.”

And from that moment on, Yoongi’s voice was lost for ever.

 

 

When Yoongi broke the surface, morning had risen already. The shore lay golden just a few feet away from him. He felt dizzy from his journey, leaving the bottom of the sea so quickly behind to face the sun’s warmth. With weak limbs he pulled himself ashore, making sure that no human was nearby to see him. A seagull cried above him and disappeared over the sea, as if carrying the news to his brothers.

With shaky fingers he opened the vial and let the fluid drip down his throat.

Everything went dark.

 

II.

 

A deep voice woke Yoongi.

When he opened his eyes, the sky was a clear blue above him, dry sand warm and scratchy against his skin. Everything turned in sickening motion when he tried to sit up.

“Careful there!” The voice called again and suddenly a warm touch met his skin. Blinking, Yoongi turned his head and was met with a pair of dark eyes.

“What happened to you?”

When Yoongi’s vision cleared he could finally make out the face above him. Strong dark brows, full lips, wide eyes – it was the prince. His prince. Looking down at him with visible worry, his hands gentle on Yoongi’s shoulders as he held him up carefully.

Trying to speak, Yoongi’s mouth dropped open but no sound left his lips. He took a ragged breath, his hands pulling helplessly at the prince’s sleeve. Again, he tried to speak, but when only silence left him, his mind threw him back to what he’d left in the deep sea. What he had sacrificed.

“It’s okay, I got you. What happened?” The prince’s voice was so gentle, yet Yoongi had no way of responding, only his eyes and face to speak. Shaking his head, he lowered his gaze, heart aching. Whether from sadness or joy, he didn’t know.

“Let’s go up to the palace, you will be safe there.”

When the prince stood up, Yoongi’s eyes shot down to where his tail was supposed to be. Instead of shimmering scales and fins, he saw two legs. Toes, ankles, knees and everything that came with it. Wonder filled him as he moved his foot experimentally.

Slowly, he pushed himself up from the sand, disbelieving that he could follow the human’s movements. But when he set foot on the sand, a sharp pain ripped through him and he stumbled back, coughing. The prince’s arms caught him carefully.

“Hold on to me.”

Yoongi gripped the front of his dress, sudden heat shooting into his face that he had never known before. Taking off one of his cloaks, the prince draped it around Yoongi’s bare body before he lifted him off his feet. Holding on to the prince’s shoulders quickly, Yoongi realised that he was being carried now. Soft fabric hugged him, human warmth radiated against his chest. The world turned and Yoongi teetered against his carrier with every step, clinging to him with his heart racing.

And everything went dark once again.

 

The next time Yoongi woke he found himself in soft sheets and pillows. The walls around him were panelled with colourful pictures, everything shining and delicate. From a wide window he could catch a glimpse of the sea below, bright blue and endless towards the horizon. He heard birds calling, chirpy and lively, not the piercing cry of seagulls. Everything was dry and warm.

“Oh, you are awake.”

Turning his head, there was his prince again. Smiling lightly, he stood up from a chair, eyes watchful and curious.

“You gave me a real scare.” When their eyes met, the prince laughed warmly. “Don’t look so frightened. I’ve taken you to our palace, nothing will harm you here.”

Yoongi sat up slowly, gripping the soft fabric between his fingers. Everything gathered dreamlike around him.

“Excuse my manners, but I haven’t introduced myself. I’m prince Taehyung.” Taehyung bowed lightly and Yoongi’s heart leapt again.

Taehyung was the prince’s name. He wished he could try it out on his tongue, wished to repeat it. Instead he bowed his head as well, smiling lightly.

“What’s your name?” Taehyung asked, sitting down by the foot of his bed.

Shaking his head, Yoongi dropped his gaze with resignation. Motioning with his hands towards his lips, he hoped the prince would catch the meaning.

“Oh, you can’t talk?” Taehyung’s pretty brows furrowed into a thoughtful expression. “So, you can’t tell me what happened to you?”

Yoongi shook his head again.

“Well… do you have a family? A place you call home?”

This time he hesitated shortly. Throwing a look out the window, Yoongi’s heart clenched painfully. The sea stretched wide and seemed so empty from above. Then he shook his head one more time.

Yoongi had yet to find his home.

 

 

As soon as Yoongi regained his strength, Taehyung dressed him into long flowing robes, calling it ‘hanbok’. Servants combed his hair and braided small pearls into them and Yoongi touched them with wonder.

When he was done, Taehyung lead him through the palace and Yoongi walked his first steps. Pain pierced him with each time he sat foot on the ground, but when he stumbled Taehyung gave him a caring smile, supporting him. And Yoongi kept going, the pain fading into a dull throb. Walking beside Taehyung was worth every knife slicing his soles.

Taehyung introduced him to his father, the king. Residing in his brilliant shining hall, Yoongi stepped before him in wonder. Surrounded by gold and crimson drapes, by peacock feathers and dangling pieces of glass. Warm and shining colours he had never seen before, similar to the sunsets Hoseok loved so much, resembling coral banks under the sun.

The king welcomed him, smiling under a magnificent crown, eyes resembling his son’s. And Yoongi bowed again, cheeks heating with gratitude.

 

Later, Taehyung led him through the great halls of the palace. Yoongi marvelled at the brilliance of it all, the carpets and mirrors and mother-of-pearl inlaid screen-doors. When they stepped out into the royal gardens, the sun was already disappearing behind golden hipped roofs, small bells tolling in a light breeze.

Birds bustled in green canopies that reached its arms across the garden, catching the last rays of sunlight. A bee hummed past Yoongi’s ear and he followed it with his eyes, catching glimpse of her tiny wings. Taehyung’s voice had accompanied him throughout the day, warm and gentle like the sun tickling their noses. And Yoongi breathed in the sweet scents of flowers, the fresh air that held only a hint of salt.

They reached a small clear pond under dancing willows. The water sparkled brilliantly, its comforting gurgling released a bubbly feeling inside Yoongi’s chest. He crouched down into the soft grass and tipped two fingers into cool water, shoulders shaking with silent joy when the red speckled fish traced around it.

“Oh, look at that, they like you!” Taehyung exclaimed with excitement and dropped down beside him. Together they watched the fish circle Yoongi’s hand, scales reflecting the last light.

When Yoongi met Taehyung’s gaze, his heart took a great leap. Ever since his transformation, the act of breathing for oxygen had become a natural instinct, but for some reason Taehyung stole his breath repeatedly. His chest ached at the sight of those gentle wide eyes. A dark warm brown, contrasting the cold black eyes he knew from his own family. Eyes that held the warmth of the sun, not the coldness of the sea.

Taehyung’s face showed wonder, curiosity quirking in the corner of his lips.

“Where are you from?” he asked quietly, almost musing to himself and Yoongi’s heart clenched with unspoken words, caged inside his chest. Instead he brushed against Taehyung’s wrist gently, just a fingertip against warm skin. The prince’s face lit up with an idea as his eyes fell to Yoongi’s hands.

“Do you know how to write?”

Yoongi felt sorry at the way Taehyung’s face fell slightly when he shook his head again. But as quick as the disappointment had crossed Taehyung’s face, as quickly it made way for new excitement.

“Well, that’s okay! I will teach you!”

And Yoongi averted his eyes. A hot shiver took over his body when he caught glimpse of their reflections in the water.

 

 

The first night Yoongi spent in his room, he barely slept. Pillows and blankets hugged him from all sides, dry and soft against his skin. There was no current that brushed against him, no sea-weed tickling his back. Yoongi had never slept deep and sound before. At home, he rested with eyes closed, floating in his cave and mind half alert. But he’d never let go of his thoughts completely, waiting for complete darkness and sleep to take over.

Hours passed inside the four walls, in which Yoongi lay with eyes wide open. Listening to his own breathing. Moving his feet lightly, curling against the smooth fabric. When the moon stood high above, he got up and stepped to the window. The sea below was a smooth plate of molten dark glass, reflecting silver light. It looked so calm, so endlessly quiet that Yoongi wondered if his home even existed at all. If his brothers were still out there, probably searching for him, not knowing he had gone further than they could ever reach.

An exhaustion took over he had never known before and when Yoongi fell back into bed, sleep finally took its toll on him.

 

 

 

The days passed full of wonder.

Yoongi spent endless hours with Taehyung, who laughed with surprise when he didn’t know the most common human habits. But his laugh was never mocking. Instead he led Yoongi’s wrists gently to show him how to use two sticks to eat. Or when he helped him tie his boots, showing endless patience when Yoongi’s fingers struggled with tiny loops.

For the first time in his life, Yoongi had to get dressed every morning and he had yet to get used to the fabric brushing against his skin. His heart sped up every time Taehyung helped him tie the broad belts around his waist, when he buttoned up his sleeves. Maybe it was improper for a prince to do so, yet he still assisted Yoongi gingerly.

Every day there was so much to discover, so many new things to observe and learn. Sometimes it was almost too overwhelming, the impressions crowding in on him. In those moments the pain in Yoongi’s feet throbbed more persistently and he grew dizzy with it.

But then Taehyung grabbed his hand and took him to a new place to discover, new treasures to observe. The pain faded.

The prince took him down to the market on sunny days, buying sparkling gems for Yoongi’s ears or sweets to taste. Giggling they escaped the royal guards and hid behind the stands, where Taehyung’s eyes turned into crescents and his cheeks shone red with life. And Yoongi brimmed with energy he had never felt before.

 

Being the prince, Taehyung had royal duties to attend to. And despite Yoongi’s hesitation to join him, it didn’t hold Taehyung back from including him. Taking him along on his fighting lessons and his monthly hunts into the woods where he taught Yoongi how to ride a horse. Showing him the great green depths stretching far beyond the town over the mountains, vivid and brimming with life. Catching glimpses of wild creatures he had only ever heard stories about.

Yoongi sat quietly and listened attentively when Taehyung took his daily music lessons, playing with nimble and skilled fingers on an instrument he called ‘gayageum’. And Yoongi sat and watched. Watched the prince’s lashes flutter with every note, the gentle smile curling around his lips. In those moments, Yoongi didn’t miss his voice at all. Was thankful for the eyes and ears the witch had left him.

One day, Taehyung led him into a quiet wide hall, filled with shelves that hoarded papers and scrolls, towering as high as the ceiling. In the far back, by wide windows that flooded the room with clear light, they sat down on purple cushions. Taehyung showed him sheets with black symbols drawn on them, explaining each sound. Yoongi blushed with embarrassment when Taehyung helped him draw the first brush strokes on his own scroll, still not finding any sense in the lines.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ve had my whole life to study the characters. It will take its time.” Taehyung reassured him gently, wiping off the black stains from Yoongi’s fingers. “You just have to be patient.”

Hearing these words, Yoongi smiled back at him, thinking he’d enjoy sitting here for an eternity with Taehyung by his side, drenched in sunlight. Patience came naturally when the prince gripped his hand and led another brushstroke.

 

 

 

One evening, the prince caught Yoongi off guard.

A servant shuffled into his room, declaring that Taehyung had requested Yoongi’s sleeping place to be relocated to his own royal quarters.

That evening Yoongi found himself standing before a glamorously clad futon in Taehyung’s room. A folding screen, depicting dancing cranes, enabled him to make a room of privacy for himself, but set aside he had clear view onto the prince’s bed. His tall mirrors, the rich curtains and tall vases brimming with flowers. Soft golden light drenching everything, a hint of incense that tickled Yoongi’s nose.

And the prince himself, dressed in a flowing purple night gown. For the first time he seemed at a loss for words himself, eyes flickering from Yoongi and back towards the wide open windows.

“I hope you know this isn’t supposed to be an order.” He said quietly, gaze set on the breaking night outside. “You are free to leave and return to your own room if you wish so. I want you to feel comfortable.”

Yoongi stepped closer, heart beating up to his throat. Gently he took the prince’s wrist, drawing his gaze back to him, and smiled. Hoped Taehyung would catch the delight that filled his chest.

“You always look at me with your shining eyes, and all I can do is guess what you are thinking.” Taehyung’s voice sounded slightly desperate, his eyes flickering all over Yoongi’s face. “Oh, how I wish you could give me a piece of your mind. Are you pleased to be here? Am I too forth-coming? What is your name, which I can call you?”

There it was again, that loss of breath. That painful twisting feeling in his stomach and Yoongi averted his gaze. Stepping away from the prince he turned to the window. The sky was moonless today, the sea a black surface in the distance. A seagull called from very far away.

“Do you know why I wish to have you close?” Taehyung’s voice was quiet, almost husky. Yoongi felt his elbow brush against his when he joined him by the window-sill. “I miss your presence every night. I think of your speaking eyes and wonder what your voice would sound like. I wonder every day, what fate has brought you to our shores. And your name. Is there no way to find out, or shall I call you by my own ideas?”

A helpless smile formed on Yoongi’s lips. Nudging Taehyung’s side, he cocked his head in an inviting gesture. Taehyung’s eyes sparkled with curiosity.

“My own names for you? Oh, I have many which I dare not speak aloud.” There was an actual blush forming on his cheeks and Yoongi’s fingers itched to trace it. Feel his heated skin. Instead he gestured widely, smiling again.

“Your eyes remind me of pearls. Shining, black pearls from the deepest oceans. Shall I call you Pearl? Or Honey, how sweet your smile is?”

If Yoongi had a voice to laugh, he knew he would be giggling. Instead he rolled his eyes, hiding how flustered he truly was. Deciding to free the prince from his agony, he turned his head slightly, searching the room. Silently, he pointed towards the shining surface of a candlestick, and then gestured back to his own chest. Taehyung followed his movement, confusion filling his features.

“Your name?”

Yoongi nodded, following the line of the brass handle again with his hand.

“Gold?”

Shaking his head, Yoongi searched for something else, motioning towards the light reflected in a glass-vial. Taehyung inspected it thoughtfully, brushing a hand through his long dark hair.

“Crystal? Glass?” he tried again, raising his brows hopefully.

Yoongi’s shoulders trembled with silent laughter and he shook his head amused. There was no moon tonight to show the prince in the right direction, no shining reflection on nightly waters. Instead he motioned towards the specks of candle light, on the windowsill, the curtains, Taehyung’s face.

“Light? Brightness?” Taehyung guessed again, eyes trailing Yoongi’s movements eagerly. “Yoongi?”

_Shining._

And Yoongi’s motions stopped, his heart taking a leap.

His own name sounded so different from Taehyung’s mouth. Voice that dripped like warm honey, capturing the syllables with great care. So different from the gurgling sound his brothers produced, rough and half swallowed.

“Yoongi?” Taehyung repeated and Yoongi shivered, dropping his eyes quickly. His heart racing.

“Yoongi…” The prince tried out the syllables again and again.

Suddenly, a warm finger brushed against Yoongi’s jaw and when he raised his gaze, his knees lost all feeling, breath faltering. Taehyung’s eyes seemed to swallow him; his hand gentle against his skin as he observed him carefully.

“Yoongi. Finally.” He whispered.

Something changed in that moment. Yoongi’s existence manifested itself in Taehyung’s life with the sound of his name. He wasn’t a voiceless shadow anymore. Instead his presence had meaning with a name, with Taehyung’s ability to speak it out loud even when Yoongi himself couldn’t.

 

Later that night Yoongi lay with his thoughts running, listening to Taehyung’s quiet breathing across the room. His heart was hammering as if he’d crossed the distance between the shore and the bottom of the ocean all over again.  Dim light filled the room, dark blue shadows surrounding him. Yoongi had left the folding screen aside, could make out the silhouette of Taehyung’s bed just mere feet away.

“Yoongi?”

Yoongi froze under his duvet, heart stopping at Taehyung’s whisper. He couldn’t answer to show he was wide awake. Instead he shifted lightly, hoping Taehyung would catch the sound.

“Yoongi? Do you know what mystery you are to me?” Taehyung’s voice sounded rough and tired, Yoongi had never heard it this raw before. “About three months ago, a storm took over my ship. I was thrown into the sea. My death was almost certain. I remember drowning in dark waters, all air knocked out of my lungs. And then everything went black. But when I woke, the sun shone again. I found myself on our shores, unharmed and alive. Exactly at the spot where I found you. When I woke up, there was a girl – a girl with her friends that had found me. She – “ Taehyung broke off.

Yoongi stared up onto the ceiling, every breath piercing his lung as he waited for the prince to continue.

“I don’t know why, but I feel like I know you. Like we’ve met before. I can’t remember well, but maybe you remind me of the girl that found me. The one that helped me home when I was too weak. When I look at you, I think of her.”

Closing his eyes, Yoongi turned on his side, away from the bed. His chest ached painfully. The colourful girls on the shore that had crowded around the prince. He remembered them well, the picture so vivid in his memory.

“Yoongi… there’s something about you.”

Taehyung’s words trailed off into the darkness and Yoongi was relieved at the silence. His eyes burned with unknown sensation, temples aching. Somewhere out there in the depths of the ocean a whale was crying, pulling inside his chest, an eternal universal song.

The prince would never know who had saved him that night in the storm. He would never know how long Yoongi had watched him from afar and would never know to which lengths he’d gone to be with him. To stand by his side, to spend almost every waking hour with him on land, so far, far away from home. What he had sacrificed to spend his years with a mortal.

Taehyung would never know.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Yoongi curled up under the soft fabric. A heavy knot had formed in his throat and his eyes kept burning, his mind numb.

 

 

 

The sand under his bare feet was wet and cold. A harsh wind ripped through his hair and clothes, tearing and pulling as if to drag him back to sea. Ice cold rain splattered down on him and Yoongi shielded his eyes with his hands.  Everything was blurry and a pale grey haze around him. The sea a turmoil with white-capped waves, rain rushing down like a heavy veil. The wet sand clung to Yoongi’s robe and skin.

He’d taken the chance of Taehyung attending a meeting with his father and had wandered to the shore alone. Revisited the spot where he’d woken up in Taehyung’s arms. It was the first time after his departure that he had ventured down from town, down to the sea.

The clashing waves so familiar, a comforting yet also unsettling song in his ears. Ruthless salty air enveloping him.

As if from instinct, Yoongi found himself knee-deep in the muddy water. He didn’t care that the water ripped on his clothes, soaking them. The coldness against his legs was so familiar, yet strange like a long-forgotten dream. Like a song he’d heard years ago and had forgotten the melody.

“Yoongi!”

The call was distance, scattered by the wind and roaring waves.

“Yoongi!”

He closed his eyes, because he couldn’t bear searching for the source of the all-familiar voices. A painful feeling of loss and yearning filled him. But he knew he had to face them. Had to acknowledge them because he’d been nothing but a disappointment so far.

When he finally opened his eyes, he saw them. Amidst the surging mountains of grey water, five faces turned towards him. Arms that stretched in his direction, voices calling. Wet hair whipping in wind and curling in water.

“Please come back to us, Yoongi!” Jungkook was the closest to him, his big dark eyes filled with sorrow. Jimin clung to his arm as they bobbed up and down in the waves. They looked up from the bed of water, like lost seals that had nowhere to go.

“We are so worried! Why have you left us, Yoongi?” Hoseok swam closer with hurried strokes of his tail, mouth pulled in that frown that pierced Yoongi’s heart every time he witnessed it. “Mother is worried sick about you. She wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t leave her cave. Why have you left us?”

Yoongi shook his head, the desperation in his brother’s voice ripping straight through him. More painful than the steps he took every day.

“Please come back to us. We miss you…”

Yoongi stumbled back a few steps, fleeing into shallower waters where Hoseok’s desperate arms couldn’t reach him.

“We miss you so much…”

Over their heads he found Seokjin’s gaze, who hovered quiet and serene among the waves. In contrast, Namjoon avoided his eyes beside him, staring down. And Seokjin’s eyes trailed down the sight of Yoongi’s legs, his brows furrowing with deep mourning. But no word escaped his lips.

His younger brothers were crying for all of them.

“Please, Yoongi…”

Yoongi couldn’t call out how much he missed them. Couldn’t tell them how cursed and blessed his recent days and weeks had been. And even if his voice wasn’t drowned in the deepest waters, he didn’t know if he even had the strength to call out to them.

The sight of their suffering faces hurt too much.

Suddenly his knees buckled, and cold water grasped around his waist, sand sucking his legs in. His eyes burned and there was sudden wetness on his cheeks. Trailing from his eyes down over his lips. Salty like the sea around him, burning and raw.

It wasn’t rain, it wasn’t a drop of sea-water. For the first time in his life, tears escaped his eyes.

Such salty, burning tears biting into his skin. Silent sobs escaped him, swallowed by the roaring water around him. The call of his brothers were just distant echoes, parted through a veil. Everything was cold and crumbling.

 

Yoongi didn’t know how long he sat in the waterline, wet and soaked to the bones. But that was how Taehyung found him eventually. Exhaustion clouded his mind and Taehyung’s face was just a blur. He barely registered the splashing of water when the prince hurried to reach him, pulling him against his chest.

“Yoongi! What are you thinking?”

He’d never heard Taehyung sound so concerned, so scared. His voice broke when he carried him ashore, just as he had done once before. But when Yoongi’s toes touched the ground again, the pain swallowed him whole and he clung to the human frantically.

Yoongi didn’t know where his body began and where it ended. Tears, rain, the sea – everything pulled and tore against him.

 

Up in the palace, Taehyung fussed around him, drying him and wrapping him in warm clothes and thick blankets. Calling servants to fetch tea and honey. Yoongi watched it all happen with weary eyes. The warm hands pressing against his foreheads, the hot liquid almost scorching his throat, the worried commotion.

Later that night, when everything had calmed down and Taehyung considered him properly cared for, Yoongi found himself in the prince’s royal bed. Taehyung lay beside him, watching him with care and worry. Yoongi was unable to meet his gaze.

“What were you thinking?” Taehyung asked quietly, a hand brushing against Yoongi’s. “I was so worried. I don’t know what happened to you in the sea, but you’ve been lost before. What happened to you? I can’t bear seeing you cry like that, putting yourself at risk.”

Yoongi closed his eyes, the now familiar burn returning. For once, he wished Taehyung would stay silent. Wished for him to stop asking questions he couldn’t answer. Wished to just melt away in the sheets like the sea-foam the witch had mentioned.

But the prince must’ve noticed the turmoil on his face, because suddenly gentle arms enveloped him. Taehyung’s embrace was warm and secure as he pulled him against his chest. Instinctively, Yoongi curled up, fitting himself against the taller man’s body. A jolt of heat shot from his fingers down to his toes.

“I’ve got you, Yoongi.” Taehyung whispered into his hair; voice wobbly. “Nothing will harm you. Least of all the sea.”

Comforting spicy scent surrounded Yoongi, lulling his mind into a calm static. The rise and fall of Taehyung’s chest against his back, his small huffs of breath, the warmth that radiated off his skin.

“Whatever it is that troubles you – “

Yoongi sucked in a breath when Taehyung laced their fingers together, hesitant and careful.

“I’m here for you. If you let me, I will always be there for you, Yoongi.”

And Yoongi nodded, because he wanted Taehyung to be there. Maybe he could never tell him how he felt, maybe there would always be this distance, this ocean-sized vastness, but he wished to stay by his side in any way possible. Yoongi didn’t know what was more painful – his brothers begging for his return, their heartbreak etched so deeply into their faces, or Taehyung’s gentle whispers, his fingers tracing his skin so gently.

Fatigue overwhelmed him like a clashing wave against rock, dragging him into oblivion. And Yoongi fell asleep with Taehyung’s name on his lips which he couldn’t call.

 

III.

 

Another month passed and Yoongi never returned to sea again. Although he dreamt of his inky blue home and the voices of his brothers almost every night, Yoongi stayed away from the shores.

Instead he wandered the gardens and forests for hours. Sometimes alone, sometimes with Taehyung by his side. Slowly, he felt like a part of this world. He got used to the sunshine gracing his skin, the grass tickling his arms when he lay in the shade, the dry breeze.  
The bustling colourful life of the palace. Yoongi managed to not stand out anymore, adopted the different formalities and routines almost to perfection. His writing and reading lessons with Taehyung progressed with more determination. When he’d spelled his name for the first time without Taehyung’s help, the prince had laughed delighted, face glowing with pride and Yoongi’s chest filled with warmth.

The painful steps brought him forward after all.

 

As time passed, Yoongi got to know the prince better and better. Noticed his small quirks and habits. What food he disliked, his habit of playing with his hair when he was nervous, the precious ways he stumbled in his speech from time to time. With each waking day, Yoongi found himself more and more enamoured. As his feelings built unstoppably, Yoongi himself grew more daring.

With no voice to utter, he teased the prince with small gestures and chiding glances, playfully rejecting his bursts of energy which he couldn’t follow. Taehyung’s playful nature intimidated him more than once, but Yoongi found his way to slip out of it, without pushing the prince away. Instead it made him want to keep circling him and come closer again, to revel in his brightness that had drawn him from the very beginning. That golden presence ever surrounding him, and Yoongi drawn to it like to the ships on sea.

 

Maybe Taehyung talked too often about the girl from the shore. Recalling the moment where he had woken up aloud for Yoongi to hear while he braided the prince’s hair. Wondered what her name might be, where was she from, did she live in town?

“Sometimes I do wonder whether it wasn’t you after all, that day on the shore.” Taehyung mused and threw away the thought with laughter immediately after.

“Never mind the girl, Yoongi. You are far more shining than any of them out there, despite being a man. You are the most shining.”

These words left Yoongi in deep confusion. He couldn’t figure out the meaning behind them, what made Taehyung say these things. Couldn’t see what made him so different from the girl, why Taehyung couldn’t let go of his memory of her when he treasured Yoongi’s presence enough already. So, Yoongi let these words slip his mind again, trying to chase away the echoes they left.

Maybe he talked about it often and broke Yoongi’s heart slightly more each time.

 

But despite the cracks in sunny days, Yoongi found himself content. He was quite sure he would never achieve that mortal’s love the witch had told him about, yet he realised that it didn’t matter anymore. As long as there were days where he woke up beside Taehyung, honoured enough to spend the nights with him and curl up in his arms.

Taehyung’s smile mattered. And the flutter of Yoongi’s heart was just the side-effect. If the prince smiled, Yoongi did too.

 

 

 

“No, you have to pull back further!”

Yoongi frowned, eyes fixed on the tip of the arrow before pulling his arm back. But Taehyung’s laughter interrupted him again and he huffed with irritation.

“Oh Yoongi – look, do it like this.”

And suddenly Taehyung’s warmth pressed against his back, two gentle hands guiding his arms. The string between his fingertips, the feathers tickling his palms when Taehyung’s hands gripped his own. His heart skipped a beat.

“Look, pull it all the way back to your ear. You have to stretch the string to its fullest, only then the arrow can fly.” Taehyung’s voice was deep and full against Yoongi’s ear, a shiver shooting down his spine.

The arrow-tip in front of him trembled. His muscles screamed with the effort of holding the bow calm and pull the string. But Taehyung’s hand was firm, guiding him further back.

“There.” The prince whispered. “Now focus on your target.”

Yoongi stared down the point ahead of him, a blurry red dot in far distance. Taehyung stood tall and calm behind him, so close he caught his scent, spicy and unique.

A quiet breath, a blink of an eye, and Yoongi let go.

With a hiss the arrow ripped from his fingers, disappearing somewhere in front of him. Taehyung’s hand remained curled around his. As soon as the arrow had left his vision, it had left Yoongi’s mind too. His cheeks burned.

“Oh no.” Taehyung called out and gripped Yoongi’s shoulders to turn him around, reaching for his arm. “This happened to me as well the first few times- I am so sorry, I forgot to give the protection.”

Yoongi blinked down, just now realising what Taehyung was talking about it. A bright pink bruise spread on the inside of his elbow, where the string had flung against his soft skin with high velocity. Yet Yoongi had barely taken notice of it.

“That’s all my fault, I really forgot the damn arm guard –“ Taehyung fretted, inspecting Yoongi’s arm with gentle fingers. Sending hot jolts through his system with every touch.

But Yoongi just reached for the prince’s hands, calming their movements. When Taehyung raised his head, a small pout formed on his lips, drawing Yoongi’s gaze. Smiling, he patted Taehyung’s shoulder gingerly, ignoring the urge to pull him closer. To seek his warmth, the slope of his golden skin showing under a loose silver-stitched collar.

“Can you forgive my lack of caution?” Taehyung asked regretfully, his eyes so wide Yoongi avoided them. The closeness between them stole his breath.

Acting nonchalant, he just rolled his eyes and cocked his head, amused at his concern. Little did Taehyung know how many times more he would forgive him.

 

 

If there was something that put Yoongi through a lot of trouble, it was sleep.

He had a hard time getting used to hours of complete rest, the pillows and duvets crowding in on him and almost swallowing him whole. The restlessness in his legs kept him from falling asleep, and when he did sleep after all, dreams of the sea haunted him. His mother’s pale face, hiding behind sea-weed. Pods of sharks crowding around him in endless circles, the nettles of jelly-fish brushing against him and his brothers’ calls echoing under deep blue darkness.

Sometimes he woke gasping, confused as to why his tail was split in two, his mind seeking for the cool comfort of water. But there was only fabric and curtains around him.

Since the incident at the beach, Yoongi shared the bed with Taehyung, which made matters worse and better simultaneously. When he couldn’t sleep, he watched the prince’s calm and peaceful features. His long dark lashes in the dim light, the twitch of his lips, strands of hair curling around him like a majestic starfish. Sometimes he lay so close, Yoongi could count the birthmarks on his skin, could feel his breath against his throat.

All of that kept him from sleeping even more. An unknown tension lingering in his limbs, sending his heart on journeys higher than the highest mountain and deeper than the witch’s home.

 

The cool grass against his feet was soothingly welcome, muting the throbbing ache that pulsated through them almost constantly. It was a full moon, soft light drenching the garden below. A nightingale called from somewhere above his head when Yoongi ventured further. Cicadas hummed a never-ending song, accompanying the gentle wind that curled his hair. The air smelled cool and green, so full of life.

Reaching the pond, Yoongi marvelled at the silver reflection, like a tremendous pearl submerged under crystal clear water. Silver ripples dancing across it. Sitting down by the grassy bank, he watched the fish taking lazy sleepy turns in the moonlight, scales glistening faintly.

Visiting the pond always calmed him. The sound of water a homely melody, the fishes’ movements so familiar, despite their gentle lack of fierceness. There was nothing feral in their eyes, just empty nothingness that reflected their neat home. The ignorance of the great waters beyond.

“I’m sorry you can’t sleep.”

Yoongi jumped slightly, turning around to see Taehyung stepping beside him. Nightgown wrapped loosely around himself and hair dishevelled, he looked almost unreal to be true. Sitting down beside him, the prince followed his gaze down to the water, eyes dark and deep.

“It has been troubling you a lot. I wish I could take it from you.”

It was such a Taehyung thing to say. To offer his help in something he had no power over, something that was beyond him.

Yoongi stayed silent, as usual.

“What do you see when you watch the water, Yoongi?” The whispered question struck him deeply. Taehyung’s voice so full of uncertainty. “What does it remind you of that it keeps drawing your attention? Some day you must write down all your thoughts, Yoongi. I wish to read them all.”

Shaking with silent laughter, Yoongi just shook his head. Never once glancing at the prince beside him.

“Yoongi.” Taehyung loved calling his name. Different variations of the short syllables, his voice capturing it all. “I wish nothing more than to know you. You fill me with so much wonder.”

There was certain sadness hidden in his phrases when he said things like that. A sadness Yoongi never quite understood, but it reached him deeply. Something lay behind them that called for him, some meaning he had yet to grasp. All he knew was that he wished to chase away the melancholy in Taehyung’s big eyes.

Instinctively he reached for the other’s hand, brushing against cold skin tentatively. Their fingers laced together. A light breeze moved the tiny bells hanging from the hipped roofs, bright chiming sounding through the night.

“I know you can’t talk –“ Taehyung broke off, voice oddly choked. Finally, Yoongi turned to him, catching his eyes.

“I know you can’t tell me what you think, but please, I urge you to always at least show me how you feel. Resist me when you feel uncomfortable, show me you don’t want what I’m about to do.” Taehyung continued, his words just a jumbled mess of confusion in Yoongi’s mind. There was no sense in them, no meaning he found.

Taehyung’s gaze was piercing now, never leaving his face and suddenly his breath fanned over Yoongi’s cheek. Inhaling shakily, Yoongi let Taehyung cup his jaw softly. Every fibre of his body seemed to dissolve into nothing.

Their lips met.

And Yoongi’s thoughts melted away, like seafoam scattering in waves. There was only Taehyung, gently pressing against him, holding him so carefully as if scared of breaking him. A quiet gasp escaped one of them, and Yoongi felt dizzy.

“Why don’t you push me away, Yoongi? How come you let me touch you like this?” Taehyung whispered against his lips, so heartbreakingly desperate Yoongi’s chest ached with it.

For once, Yoongi didn’t mind at all the loss of his voice. As an answer he buried his fingers in the prince’s hair, pulling him closer to deepen the kiss again. Despite the cool night air, Yoongi’s skin buzzed with heat. Every small touch unlocked something new inside of him, some new nerve set ablaze by Taehyung’s soft lips, his wandering fingertips. He feared spilling over, of losing every sense of self and break open like the ocean during a storm

Under the watchful moon they kissed again and again. Taehyung cradling him in his lap, clothes askew and hair tangling between fingers.

The bright bells chimed again.

 

 

Yoongi’s world shifted from that night on.

The day after the kiss, Taehyung didn’t mention it once. Instead he played around as usual, smiling at him over his gayageum as he always did. Chattering during dinner as if nothing had changed between them, as if Yoongi wasn’t completely lost by the movement of his lips, by the tremor of his voice and sharpness of his peeking collarbone.

Taehyung went through the day and Yoongi wondered if he had dreamt all of it.

But when night fell again and they retreated to the confinements of Taehyung’s room, their kisses bloomed alive. Taehyung pulled him closer by his waist, capturing his lips with a desperate urgency. As if the starlight exposed a different side of the prince, dismantling him to his most vulnerable core. With every kiss Yoongi absorbed something new, something earth-shattering that stirred him up until he couldn’t breathe.

That’s how matters changed between them.

Daylight was meant for bright laughter and diligent studying, exploring of the world around them. And the cloak of night was meant for kisses and soft whispers, the exploration of each other. Yoongi didn’t mind the duality of it. Didn’t mind having his mind and body preoccupied by Taehyung’s caress in darkness, even when the prince barely touched him under the sun.

All of a sudden, the mortal’s love was in Yoongi’s grasp and he held it with trembling fingers. A fragile seabird’s egg, a thin layer of mother-of-pearl, fleeting moonlight through inky black waves. It could shatter anytime.

Never once in his life had Yoongi felt so lost at sea. The transformation and adjustment to human life had left him helpless on many occasions but being the interest of someone else’s – _Taehyung’s_ – affection was new and frightening.

Kissing Taehyung came close to what Yoongi imagined to be flying. Soaring and free, gasping for air. Some nights they did nothing else but lie in each other’s arms and he let the prince map out every inch of his body. Let him caress parts that he had never been aware of before. Shivered helplessly when he drew patterns on his skin, erupting in goose-bumps. Yoongi had never known how sensitive the human body was. How delicious the touch of Taehyung’s fingers against his thighs was. Flinched every time Taehyung dropped a kiss there, the pulling knot just below his navel tightening. Taehyung explored him with his mouth and hands in a way he could’ve never imagined.

The absence of his voice was just a small itch in his mind, because now Yoongi could use his lips in different ways. Covering the prince with kisses, reaching out for him when the moon outlined their bodies with silver light, smiling through the window.

These hours felt like eternity.

 

 

Taehyung erupted into giggles. His robe was askew and wild strands brushed against his brows, everything about him drenched in golden candle-light. He threw another grape and Yoongi dodged it quickly, giving him a chiding glare.

“Let me call for more wine.” Taehyung said excitedly, ringing a bright bell.

After exchanging their empty pitcher for a full one, the servants shuffled out quickly, leaving them to privacy. The night was humid and hot, buzzing with the day’s remains. Cicadas gave their passionate song below in the garden, a sweet heavy scent lulling them in.

Yoongi’s head felt fuzzy and warm already. Picking a grape with pointy fingers he wrapped his lips around it, sweetness bursting on his tongue. The prince watched him intently over the brim of his glamourous cup and a hot shiver shot down Yoongi’s spine.

With a clink Taehyung set down his cup and shifted on the silk cushions until his knees bumped against Yoongi’s. Catching a hint of orange-blossoms, Yoongi’s heart stumbled when Taehyung leaned across him to reach the bowl of grapes.

“Here you go.” Taehyung mused quietly, pinning him down with a heavy look as he raised the fruit to Yoongi’s lips.

His face burned, but he parted his lips obediently. Taehyung’s brows quirked slightly, and his lips curled with a smile. An all-consuming heat cursed through Yoongi’s body when Taehyung captured his chin, pulling him into a deep kiss. The sweet taste still lingering on his lips and turning sweeter still.

“Have I ever told you how pretty you are?” The prince whispered. Keeping his eyes closed, Yoongi exhaled softly, leaning into the warmth. “So beautiful, a pearl in moonlight. My pearl.”

Yoongi supressed the urge to scoff and turn away, face burning with embarrassment. Every word Taehyung uttered seemed to unravel him, something inside his chest falling loose. As if the prince enjoyed seeing him at a loss of wits.

“So beautiful – “

Before Taehyung could finish his sentence, Yoongi had pulled him closer again, urgent and defiant. His hands tangled in long soft strands and motion desperate, he muted every other word.

Living in a silent world ever since having stepped on land, made Yoongi bolder in his actions the more the distance between them faded. Closer he pulled him, and closer their hearts seemed to beat.

 

 

A soft whisper filled the air, of fingers brushing over paper occasionally.

Sun shone hot on his back and Yoongi straightened, turning his wrist. It had started aching in the past few days, throbbing dully into his arm. The brush between his fingers pressed hard against his skin, leaving rough patches on his knuckles. He’d never imagined writing to be this straining before. Hearing it in stories throughout his life, he had always believed it came naturally to humans, to fill their homes with mountains upon mountains with written words. But leaning over the scrolls, keep the brush wet and to draw meaningful lines proved itself to be a lot more difficult.

Kneeling beside him, Taehyung leaned over his half-filled paper, brows furrowed with concentration. With casual flicks of his wrist he painted intricate meanings onto the blank surface. The prince’s hair was pulled up high, unusual to his habit. A single lock fell past his temple, framing his jaw and Yoongi’s fingers itched to brush it aside. Yoongi’s chest grew warm like the sun outside when he watched Taehyung bite his lips thoughtfully.

Throwing caution into the wind, he set down his brush and reached out. Brushing his fingers lightly along the prince’s jaw, marvelling the warmth of his skin. Taehyung blinked, flinching slightly.His eyes were wide when he looked up and Yoongi noticed the nervous flicker inside of them. No one else was in sight, yet he suddenly seemed strung like an arrow, ready to fly. When Yoongi leaned in, seeking his closeness, Taehyung moved back. Gently he grabbed Yoongi’s arm, setting it into his lap.

“Not here.” Taehyung whispered quietly, face guarded and unreadable.

Yoongi watched the other’s decline with confusion. Embarrassment washed over him, and he quickly focused on his characters, reaching for his brush once again.

“We have all night, yes?” Taehyung’s voice sounded hesitant, almost nervous and Yoongi’s confusion deepened with the tenuous air between them.

Giving a quick nod, he drew another line on his paper with determination, not wanting to catch those huge wavering eyes.

“ _The moon is shining._ ” Taehyung read aloud.

Yoongi felt him closer again, watching over his shoulder as he drew another black line. He had yet a long way to learn, the characters still askew and uncertain under his hands. Only snippets of his thoughts, no where near close to count as writing.

“You are shining, Yoongi.” Taehyung whispered, a gentle hush against his ear and Yoongi heard the apology in it.

He wasn’t sure what had happened, wasn’t sure why Taehyung needed to apologise. Yet he welcomed it with heated cheeks and a small smile.

 

 

Ever since the stormy day on the shore, with his brother’s calls in his ears, Yoongi hadn’t sought out the sea again. Avoiding it, as if he’d get pulled back if he got to close, he had only watched it from the bedroom window. Feeling safer in such a distance, like he could just swallow the pain and forget it for another night, another day, another moon.

“You don’t have to be afraid, Yoongi!” Taehyung called, hair whipping into his face with the wind. “I’m with you, it won’t do you any harm.”

Yoongi almost wanted to laugh that Taehyung thought he feared the sea. It wasn’t the sea he was frightened of. The waves clashing brutally against rocks, the swirling depths, the lurking shadows beneath – all of it just called for home. No, it wasn’t the sea.

Ignoring the sharp pain engulfing his feet, Yoongi followed the prince towards the water line.

Taehyung had led him towards an azure sparkling lagoon, surrounded by high arboreous cliffs. They had reached it by horseback, further down and away from the town. Its seclusion invited for drowsy hours in the sun and listening to the breathing ocean. When Taehyung had ordered his royal guards to not follow them down to the water and guard the cliffs instead, they had obeyed with hesitation. Yet Taehyung’s smile has its reputation of melting ice. Taehyung had practically sighed with relief when they reached the shore in solitude, no soul around to disturb them. Everything seemed perfect.

Yoongi’s gaze followed Taehyung’s broad, golden back as he stepped deeper into the water. Drops sparkled on his skin like diamonds and Yoongi wanted to capture them with his lips. But with every step he took closer towards the water, his chest ached painfully.

The familiar sharp scent of salt, the dancing white crowns on waves that licked at Taehyung’s knees. It wasn’t what he feared, it was his own feelings of homesickness. Of doubt. Of the possibility Taehyung might not be worth the entirety of the ocean, wasn’t worth the loss of his family

“Look, Yoongi! What pretty fish there are!” Taehyung’s call dripped with joy. The prince had finally plunged into the water, lips pulling into a wide smile that captured his entire face.

It took a few more moments of hesitation before Yoongi finally joined him in the waves. A sudden sense of fright gripped a hold of him when his legs paddled uselessly. Coordinating his limbs inside water suddenly overwhelmed him. There was no easy stroke of tail, only helpless arms and legs that had to keep him afloat. Learning how to walk the earth had been a given but learning how to swim anew left him stunted.

Saltwater invaded his nose and throat, making Yoongi cough violently. He barely registered Taehyung’s firm hands on his waist, before he found himself pressed against him. One arm supporting him on his waist, the other under his knees.

“I got you.” Taehyung said gently, holding him as easily as a feather in the waves. Clinging to him, Yoongi shook his head undignified, cursing his sudden helplessness.

“Don’t worry. I won’t let the sea take you away from me, Yoongi.”

Taehyung’s words pierced right through him; breath stuck in his throat. It was a constant battle it seemed. The ocean reaching for him, and the prince pulling him right back.

Stunned he watched Taehyung’s face light up like the sun above them as he turned in circles, drifting in the currents. Their skin pressed against each other, covered in sea-salt and heat. Yoongi’s heart jumped violently when Taehyung let go of his knees, wrapping his legs around his waist instead. Suddenly he found himself even closer, just mere breaths away from each other. Chest pressed against chest.

“There’s no one to watch us.” Taehyung murmured, gazing down at him through full lashes, eyes burning. “No one at all.”

The kiss was deep and relentless. Strong hands followed the lines of his body and Yoongi clung to Taehyung, meeting his lips just as ferociously.

He didn’t want to think about the eyes that might be watching them after all. The sea had its eyes and ears.

The fear clogging his throat turned into a small weak whisper, scattered by the waves clashing against their intertwined bodies.

 

 

 

 

Part of the duties as a prince, was the attendance of the royal banquet.

At least once a week, Taehyung and Yoongi dressed up especially gracefully, pinning more pearls to their collars and belts. It took almost two hours to get ready, with servants bustling around them and Taehyung chattering away.

Yoongi always felt misplaced in those high golden halls. But Taehyung insisted on his company, sitting on his right-hand side, the king on the other. The prince’s face always turned more serene on these evenings, reminding Yoongi all over again of the royal blood running in his veins. The sharp arch of his brow, the commanding gaze of his eyes and aristocratic features – all of it making way for dignity.

The king was a kind, yet stern man. Whenever his attentive gaze fell upon him, Yoongi lowered his head instinctively. Eating quietly and carefully, not wanting to draw attention to himself. He wished Taehyung could tell him something to calm his nerves, but even the prince fell silent at the royal table, only speaking when spoken to.

 

“Taehyung.”

Both Yoongi and Taehyung looked up when the king’s voice broke the noise of chopsticks and dishes clattering.

“Yes, father?” Taehyung’s voice always held a careful tone when he addressed his father, as if testing the sound of each word.

“The adjacent kingdom has sent words of approval. Next week a ship will arrive, and you will be expected to meet the princess. Both for their and our good, we hope for a good match between you two.” The king said, watching his son with expecting eyes.

Yoongi’s eyes flickered to the prince beside him, stomach twisting for unknown reason. Something about the stone-cold expression on Taehyung’s face scared him

“Match?” Taehyung’s voice trembled slightly and Yoongi wished nothing more than to reach out for his hand.

“You are old enough to marry, Taehyung. I am hoping for a wise and strong bond, just as the one you have been born from.”

“I- I understand.”

And with that, the conversation was over. Taehyung lowered his head, eyes set firmly on the table in front of him. With an unsettled heart, Yoongi observed the prince’s knuckled turning white around his chopsticks.

 

That evening, Taehyung sat quietly on the window-sill. His hair was still groomed, his silver stitched royal robe creasing around his waist.

Summer was slowly coming to an end, the night breeze already a bite to their skin. Scattered raindrops echoed outside in the garden, hitting leaves and stone. Yoongi shivered and pulled his night robe closer, before stepping beside the prince.

Taehyung didn’t turn his head to look at him. Instead his eyes were glued on the far lights of the town below. Hesitantly, Yoongi reached out and placed his hand against Taehyung’s neck, brushing back is hair. He felt a shiver under his palm, but Taehyung barely reacted. For some reason he felt so distant, even under Yoongi’s caress.

“You know this can’t continue when I get married.”

Yoongi’s hand stilled, and so did his heart. Pulling his arm away, he leaned against the opposite window-frame, bringing distance between them. A rustle told him that Taehyung was now looking at him, but he kept his eyes down, watching his own fingers splayed on dark wood.

“You’ve been aware of this right? That this won’t last for ever.” Taehyung’s voice sounded hollow in a way Yoongi had never heard before. “I will marry a beautiful girl. We will bind our kingdoms with peace and love, we will carry on the royal blood line and I will love her – “

Yoongi couldn’t help but close his eyes, inhaling shakily. Every word pierced him and he hoped Taehyung wouldn’t notice the tremor in his hand. Recently, the prince had gotten too familiar with the language of his body.

“Yoongi.”

Shaking his head, Yoongi turned away quickly when Taehyung’s hand reached out for him.

“Yoongi. You must’ve known that, right? This between us is just – “ And again, the words disappeared in the cold night air and Yoongi’s shoulders shook.

There was a crack in the mother-of-pearl, a veil over the moonlit water.

A violent tremor shot through his body when Taehyung slung his arms around him tentatively. Hands brushing over his waist, his breath against his neck. Suddenly he was everywhere. His scent, his touch, his warmth and Yoongi couldn’t grasp the moment.

“Yoongi.”

It was just a quiet whisper, almost drowned out by the slow rain outside.

When Yoongi turned, Taehyung’s eyes were eternally sad. Like bottomless dark ponds, flooded with resin. And Yoongi’s heart shattered, because all he’d ever wanted was Taehyung to hold his happiness for ever. Cupping his jaw gently, he wished he could speak words of comfort. Those words sat at the deepest bottom of the ocean and all Yoongi had was his touch.

Leaning up, he pressed a slow kiss against Taehyung’s lips. For a second, he thought he might get pushed away but instead the hold around him tightened. A desperate sigh escaped Taehyung’s lips, parting under Yoongi’s. Everything was dark blue and black when the kiss deepened. Fingers pulling on clothes, on ribbons, on knots. Taehyung’s hair fell loosely around them when Yoongi carded through them, ridding it of all accessories.

The all familiar piercing pain bit through his feet when Yoongi stumbled backwards, Taehyung chasing him with new fervour. World turning upside down, he found himself on the purple satin sheets, Taehyung’s warm body over him.

Everything turned into a blur of skin and gasping for air, of hair brushing over skin and lips bruising each other. Push and pull, the turn of the tides, Yoongi swept along willingly and under its command. His eyes burned with unspilled tears, his heart hammered with desire under Taehyung’s touch. There was a thrill to the way their limbs knocked against each other, skin pressed against skin so hotly.

“You are so – “

Taehyung’s words got swallowed by a deep kiss, because Yoongi yearned for their wordless movements.

Time stretched into eternity. The rain never stopped.

Yoongi choked against Taehyung’s neck as he clung to him, dizzy with the scent of lavender oil surrounding him, with the overwhelming sensation as they moved against each other. Taehyung held him gentle yet firm, hands pressed against the small of his back as he drew him nearer continuously.

“You are so beautiful, and I don’t want…” the whisper faded, silenced by a gasp.

Taehyung turned into the ocean, swallowing Yoongi whole. Around him, inside him, everywhere his touch could reach. An endless dance, the pulling force of waves and Yoongi embraced it all.

“I don’t want to lose you.”

 

IV.

 

The whole town buzzed with excitement at the near arrival of the princess.

Market stands crowded the streets for days, town folk bustling lively in colourful garments. Despite the summer nearing its end, a vivid joy hung in the air, like a fresh breeze in scorching heat. The palace was alive with servants polishing each room to perfection. Ornaments, flowers, draperies, candles – a horror vacui of riches and luxury that enhanced the already glamorous interiority. Everyday there was talk and chatter about the reception banquet to welcome the royal guest, gossip about her beauty and if she’d be the right match for their prince.

Yoongi went through the days trying not to pay too much attention. Like a clam he closed himself off to the excited voices hushing around him. Instead he focused on his writing more than ever, spending hours upon hours in the library, the only place far away from the commotion. Taehyung was busier these days, accompanying him on rare occasions and even then, he barely uttered a word. Surprisingly, his absence let Yoongi breathe freely.

 

During the night however, the prince sought after him more than ever. Despite the biting cold Yoongi’s skin burned with human heat, enveloping him whole. Desperate kisses in the dark, which stole every breath and thought away from him. Tight movement, drowning him mercilessly.

Taehyung’s eyes were heavy and his lips more persistent. The ferocity behind his touch pierced Yoongi’s chest painfully. Without saying it aloud, he knew the prince was lost. As lost as he had been back in the deep sea, thrown around by merciless waves, eaten alive by yearning.

 

 

The day before the princess’s arrival came with a windy storm. Flags fluttered on roofs and towers, as if trembling with anticipation, the sea rolling its grey waves against boats and docks heavily.

Yoongi had not seen Taehyung the whole day, but when he entered his room that evening, the prince’s face was gaunt and weary. A tension hung around his shoulders and when Yoongi reached for him, the prince let himself fall with a heavy sigh. Clinging to Yoongi’s body as if he could keep him afloat on the sea of pillows and sheets. Yoongi’s heart ached, with the resemblance of the prince’s head lolling against his chest when the storm had been raging around them.

“If things were different – “ Taehyung whispered into his hair, barely breaking the sound of howling winds. “If things were different it would be you.”

A tremor took Yoongi’s body and he blamed it on the merciless night, breathing the autumn air through the walls. Not the clenching fingers against his night robe or Taehyung’s tired voice.

“It would be you, Yoongi.”

Yoongi shut his eyes tightly. He felt Taehyung’s chest heaving against his back and when a choked sound spilled into his neck he turned around cautiously. In the blue light, he could make out Taehyung’s features, softened and evened by shadows. A single tear trailed down his cheek, over the dark bow of his lips and Yoongi’s throat tightened. Something inside him broke.

Reaching out he wiped away the tear, gingerly brushing against his skin. But Taehyung’s shoulders kept shaking, whether it was from fear or exhaustion was beyond Yoongi. Silently, as if he had any other choice, he held him tight. Brushed his hair, kissed his forehead and breathed with him.

It was as if the wind stilled outside, the world stopping in its motion. The sea muting and drawing back with every drop of Taehyung’s tears.

 

 

 

 

The princess smiled brightly, eyes glittering like dark pearls washed ashore. Ebony hair framed her delicate face, falling over her shoulders and dancing with every light breeze. Her lips dark red like the corals in sunny shallows. A healthy blush adorning her cheeks, glowing under sparse sunlight.

Yoongi bowed to her and gave a polite smile. He stepped aside to make way for her, watched her reach for Taehyung’s waiting hand. Watched the prince escort her up the stairs, light silk fabric rustling with every step. Fanfares sounded around them, brightly cutting through the clear morning. He watched the pair ascend, caught a glimpse of Taehyung’s wonderous smile under silver tendrils clinging to his temples, catching brilliant light.

Watching the iridescent royal pair catch each other’s smile and sleeves brushing familiarly, appeared before Yoongi like a dream. A dream he’d seen before but had chased away its images with hope. Noise faded around him, like parted through water. Just muffled echoes heaving down Yoongi’s chest, plunging into the darkest depths.

 

 

The rest of the day passed in a blur.

As Taehyung’s confidant, his presence was expected at the royal banquet. But instead of sitting beside the prince, Yoongi sat with the rest of court, down the long table. At its head the king sat enthroned as usual, Taehyung on his right-hand side. And beside him the princess shone like a fresh drop of water, a blooming flower in the first morning of spring.

Yoongi avoided the sight as best he could. His stomach churned and time passed eternally slow, the end unbearably far away.

At last, when Yoongi could only stare down on his full plate and bowls, the king had finally dined enough, and the company dispersed. Quickly he fled the dining hall, seeking comfort in the smell of paper and ink, his hands itching with desire to keep themselves busy. This way he didn’t have to wonder where the royal pair had ventured off to. Didn’t have to imagine them taking hours-long strolls down to the shore or into the forests that bled with burning colours.

 

However, the setting sun announced the end of day as always. When the words on his paper weren’t enough to keep him occupied, Yoongi strayed into the gardens.

The leaves were slowly turning yellow and red, an explosion of colours above him. Watching their fluttering movements in the breeze he once again thought of Hoseok, who would adore the sight. How Jimin would exclaim excitedly at the formations with which the birds equipped the pale coloured sky. Namjoon would watch the creamy yellow moon, shining with the last warmth of the summer. His eldest and youngest brother would enjoy the roaring wind in the canopies, fierce and ruthless.

Yoongi’s feet ached and throbbed, so he lowered himself by the pond to rest, as he had done many times before. The cold bit through his robes, but he stayed motionless. Watching the fish turn their endless circles, their mindless dwelling under the dancing reflections of water.

Robes rustled over grass and pebbles, announcing swift steps behind him. Yoongi didn’t have to turn to know who sought his company.

“What is the water telling you this time?”

Contrary to the last few days, Taehyung’s voice sounded light and vivid, as if he tried to lighten the tension that had been clinging to both of them. Yoongi shrugged furtively and turned his head, inspecting the prince’s face. There was an unknown shine to his eyes and his cheeks were reddened in a delightful blush, enhanced by the fading light.

“You always sit here, Yoongi. Watching the world pass you by.” The prince continued to muse and Yoongi’s heart clenched tightly with every word.

Just last night the prince has clung to him, wetting his chest with salty tears. Kisses that were so sad they hurt more than they comforted.

He was thankful for the momentary silence that filled the space between them. Shoulders not touching, hands far apart. The bells chimed, piercing the evening with its melody.

Taehyung’s voice was full of wonder when he spoke again.

“I found her, Yoongi.”

The bright colourful parasols in the morning sun. Heavy skirts brushing over sand, young voices echoing over the waves. The prince’s motionless body drenched from sea.

“It’s the girl from the shore. I remember her eyes, so clearly. I remember her voice. It wasn’t a dream after all, she’s real. Right here, in my reach.” The prince laughed with disbelief and Yoongi lowered his gaze.

There was something about the pond and the bells, that held something dreamlike. Their first kiss seemed far away. Instead, the girl, the princess took the space between them and Yoongi cursed his selfish heart for rebelling forcefully, for wishing Taehyung’s smile wasn’t her doing.

Something about hope being lost, regained, and lost again left a deep crack inside of him. The witch’s voice whispered traitorously inside his ear, a triumphant reminder of his foolishness. A promise that tasted like seafoam.

“Yoongi, I never would’ve dreamed I could find her again. Oh, I never expected to feel so blessed.”

And with that, the prince’s hands never reached out again. Yoongi’s eyes weren’t a match for the girl’s bright ones, the one that equalled a guardian angel.

Still, Yoongi gifted Taehyung a gentle smile, hoping it would reach the prince’s heart.

 

 

 

 

From that night on, Yoongi retreated back to his own quarters.

The curtains around his bed, the square window revealing the ocean far below – all of it threw him back to his first days in the human realm. Called back the time when the pain in his feet was almost unbearable yet hope and Taehyung’s smile had kept him going. When everything had been dazzling, new and exciting, so different from the world he knew.

Now it dawned on him that the past few months were nothing but an illusion. He stood on two feet and breathed human air, but he’d never left the dark depths. Deep down where the light never reached the bottom of the sea, his soul still recoiled with every forceful current.

He knew there wasn’t a second chance waiting for him. There would be no life ahead of him to carry on as a human, without Taehyung’s love. Those were the witch’s condition, the bargain he had agreed with. There was no going back, neither into his life dwelling under water nor into Taehyung’s arms. Yoongi felt the call in his bones, the call to let himself go and dissolve, thrashed apart by the waves until he was nothing but seafoam.

Taehyung had offered his heart to Yoongi, yet the moment he had promised himself to the princess, it slipped his grasp again. He had chosen, leaving Yoongi empty handed and his final fate clutching itself coldly around him.

 

Taehyung spent the following days with the princess and soon word of confirmation made its rounds. Confirmation of proposal, of mutual interest and the joy of uniting the two kingdoms. The king threw another festive banquet, the court celebrated with various spectacles, lights and cheering prolonging the nights. The shining prince and his princess, a beacon of hope for every man and woman, two blossoms ready to burst with colour.

The wedding plans proceeded quickly, busying the servants and officials. A ship would be prepared to sail for the princess’s home to receive her father’s final blessing. Half of the royal court would accompany the couple on its journey. Following the prince’s wish, the wedding should be held on ship at last. A magnificent celebration was planned, a wedding that should be talked about in history, a story to tell years from now on.

 

Yoongi stood by his window on the evening before departure. The blackness of the sea called for him. He thought of the aquamarine caves that gave shelter from cold currents. Thought of his mother’s eyes, which he sometimes thought he spotted in the full moon’s reflections.

A light knock interrupted his thoughts and when he remained helplessly silent, the door slid open.

The night by the pond seemed an eternity ago and when Yoongi set his eyes upon the prince, the force of his appearance almost threw him back, resembling a delicate spine hitting against spiky rocks in a stormy sea.

Taehyung leaned beside him on the window-sill, following his gaze down to the ocean. His hair was sternly pulled up, features indecipherable. For a second Yoongi allowed his eyes to linger on him, on his prince.

“You’re avoiding me.” Taehyung’s voice was quiet, as quizzical as his expression.

Yoongi had no voice to deny it, no will to prove the opposite. Taehyung knew him well enough.

“I know things have changed.” The prince continued, still not looking at him. “Once again, I wish you could tell me how you feel…I believe I must’ve hurt you these recent days. Your eyes have lost that shine when you look at me and it pains me seeing you shy away.”

If Yoongi had a voice, he’d tell Taehyung that he was fine. That his own naivety almost hurt as much as the sight of the princess’s hand on his arm.

“I never intended on hurting you. You were – you are forever my precious companion. My gem, that came to me through fate, the pearl the ocean has gifted me.” Taehyung’s voice trembled slightly and Yoongi revelled in the emotion it finally held.

At least he knew the prince spoke from heart.

“But the princess, she has been my dream for so long. I finally know –“ Taehyung stopped shortly and his eyes snapped to Yoongi, brows quirking. A hint of confusion played at the corners of his lips, as if he wondered about his own words. “It’s love. The wedding, the bond between me and her, it’s meant to be, this is what love is supposed to be. That’s the way things go, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. We are both men. This between us, Yoongi, it’s not – “

And again, he stopped. Their gazes met and Yoongi’s throat tightened. There was something inside those dark eyes that appeared like an enigma before him. It wasn’t the first time that the prince’s words struck him with deep confusion. Objecting what Taehyung said, a deep turmoil boiling under his skin.

“I’d be thankful for you company, Yoongi. Please accompany us on our journey, on the celebration.” Taehyung pleaded and for the first time in weeks, he reached out for him. Palm warm and familiar on Yoongi’s skin, sending a shiver down his spine in an instant.

Images of Taehyung’s burning gaze, of his travelling fingers and voice heavy with pleasure washed over him. Their bodies interlocked, now a faint memory in the distance, fading on the horizon. Shut away in those eternal nights.

“This is not an order. I want you to escort us on your own free will. But I do wish for your presence, Yoongi. I need you beside me.”

His words echoed hollowly. Carefully, Yoongi pulled himself away from the prince’s touch, turning to face the ocean again. He didn’t want him to see his burning eyes, his struggling breath. Averting himself, he hoped Taehyung would catch the meaning behind it. After all, he knew him so well, knew the language of his body.

Silently, the prince retreated, footsteps distancing themselves from Yoongi.

“I truly wish to meet you tomorrow.”

And with those words, the prince vanished.

Yoongi was alone again, yet he had been alone for all his life after all. His newly built home had never been stable enough, yet it still hurt feeling it crumble around him.

 

 

 

 

Yoongi fled the celebration. Tipsy laughter followed him when he stepped outside, crossing the deck. The ship creaked under his feet; a noise he had heard many times before but never felt it. A constant swaying, so different from letting your body get carried by the waves.

They had set off in the morning and Yoongi had spent the entire day on deck. Tomorrow they would arrive in the adjacent kingdom, tomorrow they would be married.

Watching the night-sky, Yoongi wished time would stop. Freeze them right here, on sea, in midst the drunken festivities where Taehyung laughed amongst his subjects with glowing cheeks. Yoongi had watched him from afar, avoiding the merry crowd.

The sea moaned and sighed under the heavy vessel, waves clashing against its planks with a constant rush. Salty wind whipped into Yoongi’s hair as he stepped towards the railing, gazing down into the pitch-black depth. From up here, life seemed impossible below. He wondered if even once humans had suspected the magnificent realms hidden beneath them.

A light spot danced in his vision and Yoongi blinked. For a second, he wondered if his eyes were deceiving him, but the movement below water grew. Dark and light shadows, following the ship’s stream. The familiarity of the movements made Yoongi’s heart jump.

“Yoongi!”

Contrary to the last time he’d encountered his brothers, Yoongi stretched his arms out for them. The height of the ship prevented them from touching, despite Jimin’s high leaps, not even their fingertips brushing. His eyes burned.

“Yoongi!” They called again, swiftly keeping up with the ship. He couldn’t call out to them, couldn’t laugh with joy and sadness at their familiar faces.

“News carried across the water!” Namjoon called, features just a blur in the dim light.

“We know about your deal with the witch! And we know what your fate awaits you on the day of your prince’s wedding!” Yoongi’s throat tigthened at the sound of Hoseok’s voice, holding a hint of hope. Hope he’d himself abandoned.

“We’ve visited the witch, Yoongi! Your soul is not lost, for we have bargained all our riches. See the wounds where the witch ripped the precious clams from our tails!” Jimin’s tail glistened faintly.

In the sparse light, Yoongi could barely see his brothers’ appearance, yet he noticed the dark blotches on their beautiful tails. The pain they must’ve gone through must resemble the one that enabled him to stand on ground.

“See here, we’ve received this knife. All you need to do is kill the prince with it and smear his blood on your feet before the sun rises. When the blood touches your skin, your beautiful tail will return, and you can continue your life with us!” Jungkook who could jump the highest, provided him with a jagged knife. Heavy and wet it lay in Yoongi’s hand, a sharp triangle resembling a shark-tooth. An ugly brutal edge pressing against his skin.

“Yoongi, not all is lost. Kill the prince and you will be welcome in the ocean again; you can return home.” Seokjin’s voice was firm, resisting the spluttering waves surrounding them.

In the dark, Yoongi met his older brother’s gaze, saw the silent plea in them. Frozen he clung to the knife in his hands, eyes burning until wet tears spilled into the wind.

“Please come back to us, Yoongi. Don’t let the witch and the prince take you away.”

Their voices and faces drowned in the night. Unable to answer or call them back, Yoongi watched the dark water, every breath piercing his lungs. He tasted his own tears, salty and hot.

 

When Yoongi returned to the celebration, Taehyung spotted him across the room. In a matter of seconds, the prince had his arms slung around him, pulling him closer. His scent of wine and orange-blossom made Yoongi lightheaded. The familiar warmth pressing against his side so utterly wrong amidst numerous faces and the princess’s sparkling eyes set on them.

“Here he is!” Taehyung warbled, slurring his words, tongue heavy from wine. His breath fell hot against the side of Yoongi’s face. “My gem, my pearl, my shining good luck charm! Let’s have a toast on his behalf, for Yoongi to always stay and bless us with his presence.”

A full cup was thrust into Yoongi’s clammy hands, a chorus of voices calling his name rose around him. Taehyung’s laughter was wild and untamed, unravelling at the edges. His eyes reflected the golden candles around them, but his gaze was so far away, Yoongi’s heart ached when he watched him.

The knife under his robe burned, weighing him down.

When Taehyung pulled him towards his bride, she greeted them with a pearly smile, pure and goodhearted. Her eyes wrinkled kindly as she patted Yoongi’s arm affectionately. The way her eyes settled on Taehyung resembled sunflowers, leaning towards the sun. And Yoongi stood on the side, a coral lost in the middle of the field, drying under the heat.

 

Until late at night the music played, and the lanterns shone. One by one the company loosened up, retreating into cabins and under deck until only Yoongi was left. Surrounded by the messy remains of empty cups and spilled wine, of shredded paper-lanterns and scattered crumbs.

 

The everlasting swaying ship carried them further towards the upcoming sunrise. Above him the sky stretched a velvety blue still, yet a light silver band stretched on the horizon. With every moment that passed, the sun was closer to burst into the sky.

Yoongi found the prince’s rooms easily. Quietly he stole his way to the silky curtains that hid the sleeping pair. When he brushed aside the delicate fabric, his gaze fell down on the prince and princess resting on satin pillows.

Her head was nestled against his shoulder, hair spilling like a scattered raven feathers, mingling with his own dark locks. With a content smile on her lips, she gave a quiet sigh, lashes fluttering with pleasant dreams. Instinctively his arms tightened around her, fingers brushing over light fabric around her waist.

Taehyung’s lips were parted, features peaceful. Yoongi spotted the birthmarks even in the half-lit room, remembered the taste of his skin under his lips. Watched the rise and fall of his chest, recalling the first moment he had felt it. Taehyung’s breathing, his heartbeat under his fingertips. The countless nights he had spent in the prince’s arms just like that and seemed just like a dream now.

Yoongi’s fingers traced the knife, heart thrumming painfully. Outside, through the round bull’s eye, the sky grew lighter steadily. His fingers trembled.

Taehyung made a soft sound and shifted in his deep sleep, cheek pressed against the princess’s forehead and Yoongi’s heart shattered into a million pieces.

Leaning down he dropped a gentle kiss on her temple, before tracing the prince’s jaw one last time. Shivering with the sensation of his warm skin under his icy fingertips. Again, a sigh escaped the sleeping prince, and Yoongi bent down carefully, brushing their lips together. Just a soft touch, light as a butterfly. One last kiss.

Without taking another look at them, Yoongi left.

 

Outside, clouds turned a pastel yellow, a pink glow drenching the horizon. Seagulls screamed above him, inspecting him with their beady eyes. They would carry the news far, as they always did. Yoongi tasted salt on his lips, not from tears but from the sea below. Waves clashed against wood, white crowns dancing, spilling and reaching for his arms.

With a forceful motion, he let the knife fly far away into the depths of the sea, hoping for it to never see the light of day again. Another desperate cry sounded above him, drowning out the creaking sails.

Yoongi’s fingers trembled when he pulled a ribbon from his sleeve, tying it around the railing. Its dark blue matched the water below as it fluttered in the wind, thrown back and forth.

The sun burned on the sky like an apocalyptic eye, bleeding its light into the ocean and setting the sky on fire, licking against everything that reached its blazing tongue.

With one last glance around him, Yoongi stepped on the railing. For the last time he took a deep breath, let air pierce his lungs. His feet throbbing, aching for release.

And just like a blossom falling from a tree, he tumbled down.

The ocean embraced him, ripping him apart in its joy for his return. A violent reunion, brutal in its desperation. Foam spilled over waves, carried up by the wind and up into the sky. When neither the earth nor the sea could hold him, maybe Yoongi would find peace in the clouds.

Light and weightless, no suffocating pain weighing him down.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Only when the sun had risen high on its zenith, the prince woke from his slumber, discovering his gem missing. Frantic voices echoed over water, boots thumping against wood as the ship bustled with searching parties.

 

Five faces watched the commotion from afar. Neither one of them cried yet the whale sang in all their chests. After the bloody sunrise their last hope had died with their brother.

 

Hours of searching passed, until the prince stumbled upon the lonely blue ribbon. With shaking fingers, he reached for it. Unknown pain of loss captured his heart. There was nothing else left, only a piece of cloth and memories that would turn into dreams and doubtful fragments with every year that passed. When the princess lay a gentle arm around him, his tears never ceased. Her smile was true, and her eyes were gentle, yet his heart yearned for something else.

Something he had now lost indefinitely.

Staring down into the endless waters, he wondered again and again. Pleaded for the waves to give him answers, for the salty breeze to soothe his aching heart. To explain why his heart shattered into a thousand pieces.

But the ocean stayed silent with its secrets, keeping them in its depths for no sun to reach. Just like the voice of truth and love, which it had swallowed so greedily.

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I know this isn't what we gays deserve, especially not during pride-month. Believe me, hated myself writing this, but maybe I also had the time of my life.  
> If you liked it and read all the way to the end, please tell me in the comments. I'm very curious what you thought of it, since this work means so much to me. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed, maybe? And thank you for reading. <3 
> 
> PS: Listen to [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNGmyQ8UbZ8) . It captures this story perfectly, as if it were made for this.


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